Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize