Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Randomize