Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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