just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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