Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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