I am in a vortex of obligation.
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
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We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
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The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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