you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
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