Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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