Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
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Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
sex in a hospital.. check
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How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
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