So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
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