Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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