it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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