last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
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