Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
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