You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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