the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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