I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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