Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be today, I can pretty much guarantee I wouldn't have replied with "buying hemorrhoid cream on Bourbon St at 7am"
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
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