Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
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