why didn't you poke me back
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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