this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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