Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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