Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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