how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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