You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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