the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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