Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
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There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
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Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
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