I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize