absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
the day after is always just damage control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
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