we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize