Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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