i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im holly from the hills drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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