You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize