Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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