New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
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