nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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