Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
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I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
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sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
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