thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The convent might be a nice break from real life
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize