Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just googled if crying burns calories
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize