i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Randomize