im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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