I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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