He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize