I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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