once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
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