I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize