I like my sex mixed with concussions.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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