I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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