Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
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Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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