Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
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Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
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We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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