ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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